Who Gets to Have Wedding Anniversaries?

This past weekend, my parents celebrated their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. This is an amazing milestone, especially because it has been so strong and stable over the years. They managed to raise five kids, while still maintaining an identity for themselves. Both of my parents held the delicate balance between home life and work as we were growing up, keeping us healthy, well-feed, and well-clothed all those years.

It is thus not surprising that marriage has continued strong into our generation. My brother and his wife celebrate their wedding anniversary later this month. Michelle and I reach four years at the beginning of August. My sister starts her married life in October. The other two siblings might not be too far behind.

We are lucky for this. There is a population of couples in this country who do not get to celebrate their own weddings and anniversaries.  For most of them, there will be no silver anniversaries, no wedding cakes, no tuxes and gowns. There will be no joint custody of children, no hospital visitation rights, no sharing of benefits. For those outside our heteronormative marriage structure, they can only stand outside and watch.

But that is changing. This past weekend we had a major victory for marriage equality. New York has passed a law allowing people of all genders to marry the partner of their choice. More importantly, this bill passed through a Republican held senate, a first in this country. It shows that even Republicans can see the writing on the wall: now is the time for equality.

My hope is that this is just the one of many, that other states join New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and New Hampshire. I also hope that we see change at a federal level, granting equality for that level as well.

Everyone should have the right to pick the partner of their choice. Marriage is right we should extend to all people, regardless of their orientation. Everyone should have a chance to reach that thirty-fifth wedding anniversary.

-That is all.


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